one day at a time

I’ve been trying really hard to take things one day at a time lately. It’s very easy to feel totally overwhelmed by my situation, but that would honestly just makes things worse. So I just refuse to worry so much about everything and just trust that eventually things will work out.

I’ve been pretty busy this week, and I’m exhausted. Fortunately, I’ve been able to make a lot of phone calls this week, and CW helped me call around to get info on venues for my dad’s memorial service. That was a huge help. There is one church in particular that sounds like the best choice so far. CW actually got married there years ago. It also happens to be in my favorite neighborhood in Atlanta — I lived there before moving to Mom and Dad’s house. I’m going to try to take a look at it sometime in the next few days so I can confirm the date and time. All of my dad’s friends here in Atlanta have been really anxious to find out the details of the memorial service since they could not attend his funeral in Texas. So I will be glad to have that planned.

My photography show is this weekend. I’ve got a lot of work to do, but I’m really looking forward to it. I have a wonderful group of friends, and many of them are going to come out to the opening reception. I could use some friend time, for sure. And some of my girlfriends surprised me with a trip to Chicago in July, so that will be fun and something nice to look forward to. Hopefully by then a lot of the to-dos will be crossed off my list, and I can just relax and have a nice time.

Oh…on a totally unrelated note, have you ever had your ears cleaned by an ear doctor? I did just that yesterday, because I’ve been having some pain in my left ear. I learned that my ear canals are abnormal. Instead of going straight into my head, they have a sharp upward slope, kind of like the beginning of a rollercoaster track or something. The doctor kept telling me to never let anyone other than an ear doctor clean my ears or I could be in for trouble. Anyway, I thought for sure that she was going to bust right through my eardrum as she was cleaning my ears with a really sharp little metal thing. I don’t understand why it’s so freaking painful, but it hurts. And I wasn’t really surprised to learn about my abnormal ear canals, since my large instestines are abnormal too. They are supposed to kind of wrap around the outer part of your midsection, but mine are all coiled up on my left side. I learned that when I was having stomach problems several years ago, and a really old, stodgy doctor with terrible bedside manner told me “I’ve never seen anything like this before” after reviewing my x-rays.

I’m starting to learn that “normal” is just a concept in a lot of cases, really. I mean, we all want to be “normal,” but really, we’re so not normal. We all have our issues, and our challenges, and our secrets. I’m over wanting my life to be “normal.”

I just want to be happy.