friends

As down and out as I can sometimes get, I do often try to take a step back and see what I can learn from having the blues. This week, it’s become very apparent to me that I have really incredible friends. All my life, I usually had things go my way…and by the time things did start to get tough, Jason was there to help me through it in his quietly supportive way.

Now that I’m experiencing some new challenges—and I’m more “on my own” than before—I have been so thankful to all my wonderful friends for their love and support. Old high school friends, the college roommate who is like a sister to me, current and former work friends, “the girls,” blog acquaintances I have never met, even a friend I met while involved in the club scene, and more…they have all in some way or another shown me how important it is to have friends in your life. Whether it’s a brief, sincere e-mail and silent support from afar, or daily contact to check in on me, I know that each of them is showing me in their own way that they care.

That means so, so much to me since at times lately I have felt really alone. I hope they all know that if given the opportunity, I would return their generous gift in their time of need.

I hope I don’t get too many opportunities to do that, honestly.

Why is being a grown-up so complicated, scary, and hard?

I had lunch today with my beautiful friend Ann. She used to work with me, and we met in a training class when we learned we both had a passion for acting. She is such a great person to talk to about anything, and she reminded me that sometimes you have to just do all that you can to make it through tough times—and have faith in God, the universe, a higher life force…whatever power you believe in…to do the rest. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. It can be so painful, though, to be patient and open to learning the lessons.

Yesterday, I spoke to my very old (we’ve known each other for a long time…she’s not a senior citizen!) and dear friend Andrea on the phone about the stuff I’ve been going through. When we hung up, I checked my voicemail to find the receptionist’s message that I had a package in the lobby. On my elevator ride down, I tried to figure out what it could be. Regular packages always went through the mailroom, so it had to be something like flowers. Who would be sending me flowers, and why?

I was very surprised to find a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and a card from Wendy, Lydia, and Jennifer. It was so sweet! Christina had brought me flowers to congratulate me on my new job Saturday, so this was the second time in a week I’d received flowers from girlfriends. It was the first time I had ever had girls send me flowers—actually deliver them to my work—and it made me feel very special.

The last time I got flowers at work was when Jason and I started having trouble. I had always half-kidded about how wonderful it would be to get flowers at work. “It shows everybody that somebody loves you,” I would say, hoping my off-hand remarks would gently nudge him to send me flowers at the office. Birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Days would come and go, but I didn’t get flowers at work for years. He would occasionally bring flowers home with him, which was very sweet too, of course, but he never seemed to get the message that there was something extra special and thoughtful to me about sending flowers to someone you will see soon anyway.

When we started having problems, I got a huge bouquet of flowers at work one day. The card said something like “for all the times I should have, but didn’t”…or something like that.

Anyway, I digress.

My point is that I have found it extremely comforting and helpful to be sharing what I’m going through right now with my friends. Some know more of the details than others, but each person has a unique way of supporting me that I am very grateful for.

My friends, I love you.