Wednesday, June 30, 2004 Posted in Entries
So my therapist thinks I shouldn’t make my blog public because it leaves me very vulnerable. Each person who reads it will take away whatever they read into my stuff, not necessarily what I meant. I told her I didn’t want to be defined by the stuff I write when I’m sad or scared or...
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004 Posted in Entries
From a recent post by ida, a blogger I can relate to in many ways: “I’ve been a bigger slacker than usual with updates during May. There are only so many topics worth launching MS Word to write about and 9 out of 10 times, the subject matter (if discussed in this 1-way world of...
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004 Posted in Entries
Most of the time, when I post something to my blog, I am doing a brain dump…writing for me, to capture my thoughts and feelings and the stuff that’s going on in my life. Sometimes, my prevailing mood at the time I hit “save” sets the tone for my post, whether it’s good or bad....
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004 Posted in Entries
You might have gotten the impression from my last post that I was really depressed over the weekend. For the most part, that is true. Saturday pretty much sucked. I drove around town looking for a place to move since I’ve been feeling like I need a change of scenery, and the commute to my...
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Saturday, June 26, 2004 Posted in Entries
I feel really, really crappy today. For some reason, even though it is beautiful and sunny outside, I feel like my heart is breaking. I feel very alone. I feel very sad. Guy’s dogs died yesterday. They had been with his family for years and years. Their health took a turn for the worse and...
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Thursday, June 24, 2004 Posted in Entries
As down and out as I can sometimes get, I do often try to take a step back and see what I can learn from having the blues. This week, it’s become very apparent to me that I have really incredible friends. All my life, I usually had things go my way…and by the time...
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Thursday, June 24, 2004 Posted in Entries
“I’m Wondering” by Stevie Wonder Well… Don’t you know I’m wondering Little girl, I’m wondering How can I make you love me A little more than you loved him? Ooh, Baby I’m wondering Little girl, I’m wondering How can I make you love me A little more than you loved him? Oh baby Jimmy was...
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Thursday, June 24, 2004 Posted in Entries
I’ve learned lately that life can take a whole helluva lot of courage sometimes. Right now, for instance, my heart is in my stomach. Guy came over tonight, which I really appreciate because he wasn’t feeling 100% today. It has helped me to have some company and someone to talk to. Jason came over and...
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Monday, June 21, 2004 Posted in Entries
The most disturbing thing about my visit with my mom tonight is that she remembers everything that happened on Saturday. And she says she wanted to die. i beat my machine it’s a part of me it’s inside of me i’m stuck in this dream it’s changing me i am becoming the me that you...
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Sunday, June 20, 2004 Posted in Entries
I said earlier that I was kinda looking forward to this weekend. Well, it hasn’t quite turned out the way I had planned. In fact, it’s been downright scary, lonely, and sad. Yesterday, I slept in and lazed around in bed for a while before Christina came over. When I finally did get up to...
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